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Saturday, December 27, 2003

In the New York Times, thanks to Uggabugga: (I'll add in the sexy reprint margins later)

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Opponents of the morning-after pill, including religious groups, told panel members that over-the-counter sales could encourage irresponsible sexual behavior.

But Dr. W. David Hager of the University of Kentucky, one of four committee members who voted against the motion, said he was worried about the implications for sexual behavior. Dr. Hager said Plan B would have a similar effect to the birth control pill, which he said ushered in "a new day and age for the expression of sexuality among young people."

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Gee, then, why has teenage pregnancy gone down since the 50's? Oh yeah, maybe because we had some FREAKING BIRTH CONTROL. So, given the choice, would you rather have A) more teenage sex or B) more children born to mothers who can't care for them?

I can understand why it would be an emotional decision--sex can be scary stuff to let teenagers deal with--but there's only one rational conclusion, which is to offer birth control (and morning-after, while I'm at it) pills. Think about unwanted teen pregnancy for about half a second and you'll agree.

(which isn't to say teen mothers are bad; but adults have a responsibility to make sure their children are ready for the responsibility, and I'll wager most teenagers aren't, no matter how ambitious they are.)

Thursday, December 25, 2003

Oygh. I can't get to sleep since watching Chicago. Again, highlight the following text (with slight spoilers) to read:

Well, the whole film basically glorified murder, but what really sent me into orbit was how the back of the box describes the movie. A moving piece of social commentary? A searing satire, to be remembered in the heart and soul of America for decades to come? Actually, Chicago is "Dazzling and Electric! You can watch it over and over!" (Roger Ebert), "a dazzling spectacle cheered by audiences and critics alike!" (company line) So... um... yeah... you know... the hero killls somebody in the film, you know that, right? And her sidekick kills her sister and husband, you know that two, right? And everybody in the film is a scumbag, pretty much? Which would be forgivable (lots of memorable movies have had scumbags for main characters) if the movie didn't portray them as so sympathetic?

Oh, and merry freakin' Christmas.

Wednesday, December 24, 2003

OOoooogagagahgahgah. Chicago. Ewwwww.

(That was a capsule review. For the full review with some spoilers, highlight the following text:)

I just saw Chicago. I mean. Gross. Eww. Can't get it out of my head.
It starts as a pretty legitimate satire of the corrupt criminal justice system. Sometime after the first hour the movie spun completely out of control as we were actually supposed to sympathize with the murderous hero, and even amidst all the flash and glamour, I was completely bored. The movie could have been about an hour shorter, with no glamour, and would have been a searing commentary on the state of the nation and the media. Instead, we get Moulin Rouge II-- flashy dance numbers long enough to fool critics that they're watching art.

Leticia Score: 2 out of 5. Solid concept, acting, and performance botched in every way possible by the excecution (so to speak). Wake me up when the plot picks back up.

Tuesday, December 23, 2003

Hey, wait a moment! Speaking of tax cuts, why do the same people deride welfare as a "free handout" whereas tax cuts are "giving back to the people?" I mean, money tends to revitalize the economy when given to the poor, rather than the rich, right? So why not deride tax cuts as the "free handout?"

And why do we call people on welfare "lucky" when you have to be dirt poor in order to get anything? And why can I turn on my television and hear newscasters describing 9/11 as "tragic" and the strike on Iraq as "majestic?" (I agree with one of those viewpoints; try and guess which one.) And why was Clinton's consensual sex grounds for a 200-officer FBI investigation and who-knows-how-many taxpayer dollars in an attempt to get the president impeached, whereas Arnold Shwarzenegger's repeated sexual assault is not a big deal? And how come I can't think of a clever punchline to tie this all up?

This is a sick world.

(oh, and the Iraq thing just made me lose it. Seriously, if you turned on your TV the day the Iraq war started, you saw the entire city of Baghdad on fire--like a hundred 9/11s all at once--and the newscasters were yapping up the technical marvels of the display as if it were the latest Shwarzenegger movie. Jesus.)

Monday, December 22, 2003

Dear lordy, Viewtiful Joe kicks ass. It's a simple little action game, a side-scrolling brawler for crying out loud, and it seems to desire nothing more than to be a delightful little distraction from daily life.

It seems like every new videogame these days is pimping its "Dude, in Halo 3, you can count the villian's individual nosehairs!" factor, that THIS game will be the one to CHANGE EVERYTHING. It's like no game has ever managed to learn from the success or failure of previous games when they're all advertising that they reinvent the wheel. Joe, however, would be fun if it were running on a Genesis. It's just good.

(by the way, the references to B movies are hilarious. Why is Leticia so infatuated with such a ridiculous game starring a guy who looks kind of like Strong Bad in a pink cape? Find out on the next exciting post!)
Let me tell you a story.

I grew up on Sonic The Hedgehog. His speed, his attitude, his downright coolness appealed to me on a somewhat primal level. And so I took by faith any distortion of physics put forth by his videogames; for instance, that his two-tailed fox friend, appropriately nicknamed “Tails,” can twirl his tails and fly like a helicopter; or that his echidna friend Knuckles can glide through the air for no apparent reason.

But the biggest thing I took by faith was the spin-dash. Beginning with Sonic The Hedgehog 2, Sonic’s signature rolling move was transformed into the ability to roll in place, revving up speed for a rolling dash. It is ridiculous in retrospect, but it was, and remains, very cool. And so, I never gave Sonic’s ability to spin-dash a second thought for about eleven years.

Upon realizing that the spin-dash was physically laughable, I explained this phenomenon to my father, who encouraged me to look on the bright side. “At least you’re not Republican!” he quipped. I laughed, and added, “A new tax cut will create jobs!”

He told me, “that’s a pretty appropriate metaphor, rolling in place to gather speed.”

That would make a pretty good essay.
Hello, the name is Leticia McKenzie. That’s not my real name, but it will do. I’m kind of shy and I live in sunny Poseidontown (not where I live), and I thought that an anonymous blog might help me get my feelings out and help me practice writing for my dreams of being a big famous writer.

How should I start?

I’m a slut. You wouldn’t believe it if you met me, but I am. I masturbate like, twice a day or something. I feel horrible about it. What good is a girl when she’s damaged herself so? This, of course, is not true—there’s nothing wrong with masturbation—but there’s no shaking this feeling that I’ve broken my flavor seal and I’m ineligible for a boyfriend. (Or a girlfriend...)

How should I continue?

When I was a girl of 14 or so, I wanted to be a stripper. I had grand visions of how satisfied I would be, and how many people I would make happy through the power of my own eroticism. On the pole, revealing myself gently, I would lead the audience along in my own mystifying ritual that would cure all ailments and bring the world peace (or something).

Where am I going with this?

But, despite my lofty goals, I was ashamed to talk or think about it. Whenever I spoke “I wanna be a stripper” it was squeezed through my reluctant vocal cords in shame and self-pity. So maybe, at some point, I got over it and decided that I really couldn’t be a stripper, but I never really put it out of my head. Why would Leticia be attracted to sex work?

What is the meaning of life?

I’m 17 now, not much older, but I feel like I’m supposed to be more mature, being able to buy M rated games and all (and NC-17 movies, like the tentacle porn they keep at the back of the anime section at my local rental place). So I guess I’ll do what the other cool kids are doing and think aloud on the Internet, where information is cheap and actions speak volumes and two hands are worth a bushel in the drinking fountain. Tally-ho!

--Leticia

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