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Monday, December 22, 2003

Let me tell you a story.

I grew up on Sonic The Hedgehog. His speed, his attitude, his downright coolness appealed to me on a somewhat primal level. And so I took by faith any distortion of physics put forth by his videogames; for instance, that his two-tailed fox friend, appropriately nicknamed “Tails,” can twirl his tails and fly like a helicopter; or that his echidna friend Knuckles can glide through the air for no apparent reason.

But the biggest thing I took by faith was the spin-dash. Beginning with Sonic The Hedgehog 2, Sonic’s signature rolling move was transformed into the ability to roll in place, revving up speed for a rolling dash. It is ridiculous in retrospect, but it was, and remains, very cool. And so, I never gave Sonic’s ability to spin-dash a second thought for about eleven years.

Upon realizing that the spin-dash was physically laughable, I explained this phenomenon to my father, who encouraged me to look on the bright side. “At least you’re not Republican!” he quipped. I laughed, and added, “A new tax cut will create jobs!”

He told me, “that’s a pretty appropriate metaphor, rolling in place to gather speed.”

That would make a pretty good essay.
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