Saturday, January 24, 2004

Hey, yo, one and all. This is Leticia McKenzie, reporting from Poseidontown’s Sad Sorry Sluts Division.

I can’t say what’s gotten me down so much. Maybe it’s my tears, and how I can never get them to come at the right moment. I can’t get myself to feel—but yeah, I cried once during Pokémon when Ash left Charizard and it was SO SAD.... but I can’t get myself to cry over things that are important.

Like Dante. Yeah, if I had more emotional fortitude, I could be his mistress. But no, I need the person I’m having sex with to have a relationship with me; I’m too fragile and insecure for anything else. I couldn’t handle the thought of my sex making somebody happy, who will then forget about me when the lights are dimmed and the candles are lit and he goes to have real love.

So I had a dream. I had friends over at this family vacation home, but I promptly forgot about my friends anyway. I looked at my room; wow, there were three beds in it. I could call my other friends right now and have that girly sleepover that I always wanted to have. I needed intimacy, I needed bonding, I needed to sit in the middle of the bedroom floor in my pajamas and giggle and talk about boys for hours like all the other girls did in, oh, elementary school. I needed friends.

So anyway, there was this raft in the backyard. Er, the backyard was a great big lake; it was the evening, and the sun was setting beautifully. I sat on a raft a step away from the back door, admiring the sunset and writing in my diary. For some reason, I was naked (this happens at least once a dream) and I yearned to swim out to the sunset, to touch it, to taste it, to feel its warmth. It was late, but the water was not yet cold, and I wanted it to envelope my naked body.

But, no, I put my clothes on and went inside instead. I accidentally dropped my diary in the water, so I needed to dry it off. Besides, I had to go do my homework. What would I have done if my parents had seen me naked? I would have died. And so on and so forth. End of dream.

So, if anyone has Beautiful Sunset real estate out there, make me an offer...
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