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Tuesday, January 20, 2004

I wrote this a few days ago, and I'd like to post it here. Except... it's a venting piece, and it's very deliberately aimed at my readers. So, I know this sounds weak, but I don't mean any of it. I'm just bitching. It'll allow me to write again. Please don't think I'm actually mad at any of you; I'm just venting out of my own insecurity, which will become evident near the end. Onward!

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Well, I’m angry. I’ll tell you why. I don’t want to be a blogger anymore. Why, you ask? It’s a big fucking pain in the ass... I can’t stand waking up in the morning, wondering about what the fans will think of my latest creation. I can’t stand pulling down my pants to masturbate and wondering if it will produce good material. I can’t stand living each moment knowing that, even if I am a nobody, Leticia McKenzie is a superstar.
So lately, I’ve been masturbating about something awful. You won’t understand Okay, maybe you will. But you know what? I don’t fucking feel like writing about it. Piss off, you fucking groupies. You’ll all leave me when the next big thing comes along, so why should I care what you think of my work? You’re all just big jerk-offs with nothing better to do than invade the private fantasies of a 17-year-old girl. Perverts.
Oh, yes, I’m gonna write what I feel. I’m gonna write that I hate this blog and I want to burn it and/or wipe my ass with it, that I think about it with disdain every waking moment, that I can’t understand why anybody reads it when it’s total crap about why I like to be sealed in plastic wrap. It’s the dumbest fucking blog ever, and I don’t want you telling me it’s good because it’s not.
I can’t understand what turns you on about this. Me getting run through a meat grinder? That’s last Tuesday compared to what a real porn author could come up with. But, nonetheless, it is my only way to express my sexuality when, in my real identity as a boring high school student desperately seeking an identity, my total value in global discourse comes dangerously close to zero. So I have to fuck my computer, over and over again, in full view of the entire Internet, for the simple reason that I am a stupid sad slut who can never hope to be fucked by a Real Man who Really Cares.
So, come on, everybody, start the mass migration away from Leticia’s blog. Go to somebody with real experience writing about sex. I’m just lonely and a loser and I would prefer it if you don’t feed my exhibitionism with kind letters.

Cheers,

Leticia

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