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Sunday, January 11, 2004

Leticia writes about the Democratic primaries in the States:

Okay, I'm going to write one of those "Well, this candidate has the earth tones, locking in the major swing state" blahblahblah articles, so to begin, Dennis Kucinich is the best guy. Really. Look through his position statements, but be sure to keep a tissue in hand for the incoming orgasms over his vision of America.

So, anyway, a lot of people (appearantly) have been saying "Kucinich has great ideas, but is unelectable." Well, the problem is, it's really true; but that shouldn't dissuade you from recognizing the content of his beliefs. So, let me explain some things that, if I were Kucinich, I would do better:

-- Push the "scrap Star Wars and send everybody to college for free" plan. I mean, the only place I've read about it was in the local indy paper devoted to giving jobs to homeless people (if there is such a paper in your area, stop reading my blog until you buy one). Everybody I talk to about that plan thinks it kicks ass. Kucinich could (or would have, if he had started earlier) have a chance at the big time if he painted himself as the candidate who would send your kids to college by scrapping Reagan's silly space toys.

-- Don't be so cocky. I listen to him on the radio, and he sounds just like I sounded when reciting my talking points during a seventh-grade class debate on "Huckleberry Finn." That is, I wouldn't sit down, and I waved my arms around with vigor as I slam-dunked everybody else's points into the verbal junkpile (reality: "Letica, sit down and stop waving your arms around!"). Kucinich, you have great ideas, don't let the fact that they are obviously better than everybody else's ideas make you sound so frickin' arrogant about it.

-- Emphasize that there's nothing the U.S. can do in Iraq. Admit it, everyone, the longer the U.S. is in Iraq, and is seen as the occupying force, the worse the violence gets. Kucinich is the only candidate pledging to withdraw from Iraq completely and hand the transitional process over to the U.N., and I agree with him. However, he got his ass handed to him during the last Democratic debate, because Dean and Braun emphasized that America has a responsibility to help Iraq. True, but it cannot do it from the front lines. Kucinich sounded like he just wanted to bail out; if he had emphasized that the longer the U.S. stays in Iraq, the worse the situation gets, he could have turned the debate around. (After all, $87 billion would be better spent by a country who isn't seen by the Iraqi people as terrorists. Hand Iraq's transition over to the French! Yes, that'd do it.)

In general, Kucinich seems like the one taking all the liberal masturbation fantasies (hah! Managed to put that phrase into yet another post. I'm going for a record) and trying to build a candidacy around them; he needs to show that he has political competence as well as ambition if he is going to succeed.

But dammit, don't let that stop you from supporting him. He has great IDEAS, and that's the point, right?

(Oh, by the way, Dean's very "fatherly" image, I think, is what is helping him the most as the frontrunner. He inspires confidence as somebody who is going to educate YOUR children and balance YOUR budget; along with Wesley Clark, who just seems undeniably badass. [C'mon, women, you want to give both of them a hug, don't you? Especially Clark... all that power... I mean, shit, I'm a pacifist!] Kucinich looks endearing, in a condescending, Wallace-and-Gromit sort of way; and that's not what's going to inspire confidence in the hearts of the American people. But again, the point is his ideas... [But I do want to hug Kucinich, especially since he has no blood on his hands that would make me feel icky afterwards.])

(I would, however, support whoever gets the Democratic nomination.)

(Even Lieberman.)

(Who has the blood of Iraq's children on his hands, but thankfully not the pixellated blood of Mortal Kombat.)

(A cookie to anyone who knows what I'm talking about.)
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