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Tuesday, January 27, 2004

A Message:

We at Leticia McKenzie Holdings Inc. on principle, do not run issue ads. Well, except maybe that one saying "Bush is Better than Your Guy," or "Real Cool Teenagers Don't Have Sex, Unless They are Seventeen and in Love, but By Golly They Don't Use a Condom." But, really, how can you expect us to run this ad? It's just so... liberal.

You might offend somebody with that fiscal responsibility thing. We prefer the "Drink Beer, Have Sex" angle. And the "Be Complete, Wear Perfume" angle. Little kids packing grocery bags might just wake people up to the open secrets, which damn well better stay open secrets, lest my boss lose his job.

I mean, really? Why can't those liberals just be content by having the world's greatest economy? ...Which is in the crapper? Or... maybe they could be content with America's goodwill abroad? ...which has been a disaster, killing thousands and spawning terrorists right and left? Then, er, why can't the liberals be content with No Child Left Behind?.... which actually left quite a few kids behind?

Here's a tip, kid. Don't read the fine print. Ignorance is bliss, us Americans follow that principle every day of our lives.

Pass the remote.

(this post was brought to you by Mom, apple pie, and sarcasm)
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