Friday, January 09, 2004

Sonic Heroes (comments w/light spoilers, highlight to read) is fun. I think it might be too complicated, though. It seems unnecessary to take the elegantly simple Sonic controls and make them a 5-button, 3-character mutated mess. Most of the puzzles are an experiment in deciding which move to use.

The familiar, cheesy-cool Sonic style is thrown out of the window as the animation becomes light and cartoony, and completely non-descript; as if they’re trying to please the largest audience possible. This makes sense, given the enormous ad campaign and general relaunch of the Sonic brand; but Sonic Adventure 2 had a gripping and emotional story, which is a Sonic first, and something I was hoping to see again.

Then again, Sonic Adventure 2 dissappointed me at first with some of its design decisions. We'll see.

It seems these days, for girls (straight girls, anyway, as well as gay men), the familiar Maryann or Ginger question has become Aragorn or Legolas, the Lord of the Rings trilogy’s resident prettyboys. I’d choose Gimli, the lovable dwarf, though; I could imagine having many a fun night floating on top of his thick layer of fat, and I think his beard would kind of turn me on. Anyway, this is only slightly in jest; but I think he would make a much more loyal boyfriend than the prettyboys, and come on, don’t tell me you don’t feel sorry for the li’l dwarf guy. The Maryann/Ginger question, as well as the Legolas/Aragorn question, is important in that whoever it is asked to is effectively being asked to disclose a summary of their sexuality; given that I chose Gimli, it says something unusual about me: I’m either gentle or passive-aggressive. Either way, that beard would taste funny.

I had a strange dream in which I was watching a (nonexistent) compilation of Kevin Smith short films. There was one film featuring his recurring characters, Jay and Silent Bob, visiting a friends’ trailer... naked. (This was due to some plot contrivance I don’t care to recall or make up.) Their friend, who we shall call Tricia, was also naked; she playfully poked Silent Bob in his breast, and then sat Jay down at a coffee table for a conversation (for a trailer, it looked very well-kept.) She told Jay that he had to realize she was no longer the girl from down the street anymore; she said this while pinching her nipples and pulling her breasts apart. Then she offered Jay some fun, and I sat at the TV, and I wondered (in the dream), half in awe and half in shame: is that me? And is that good? Most girls aren’t that direct about their sexuality, but then again, neither am I, except on my blog, some of the time, when I’m inspired...

The meat grinder thing. I’ve had a hard time trying to top that. It put my blog on the map and now I feel pressured to top it. So I look through and try to think through my fantasies... hmm, being eaten by an alligator, being turned into Leticia Marshmallow Cereal (tasty and nutritious!)... but nothing quite so dramatic has ever come up. Give it time.

(Actually, I rather liked the one about the two girls invited to stay at a mansion and are treated lavishly and are taking a warm bath and wonder aloud why the owners are being so nice to them when suddenly, the bottom of the tub opens up and they are swept underneath; they come out of a factory wondering why they have just been turned into blow-up sex dolls. Oooh.)

Okay, I’m really out of steam now. I’m going to venture out into the ice to get my first social contact in, oh, five days. Ciao!

(A fine gentleman wrote me to ask, “You like being owned, don’t you?” You could say that...)

(Note: This post was accidentally posted a few times with slight variations. This one's the best, though)
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