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Wednesday, January 14, 2004

You may have heard of President AWOL's latest billion-dollar whim to swing over to the Moon for some extra vacation time, with Mars next on the itinerary. Now, my mother suggested Bushie's real motive behind this: he's militarized space, now he must want to militarize the moon. (All in theory, of course; after all, a President who's spent barrels full of cash on militarizing space may not really be tempted to utilize a giant rock the size of the United States that constantly faces the Earth as it revolves.)

Anyway, a recent documentary (can't remember the name or origin) revealed, according to my local newspaper, that the President is fond of impersonating the Austin Powers villian, Dr. Evil. Realizing the similarity in demeanor, I quipped, "you know, he wouldn't have to try very hard!"

And just now I realized, oh my god, wasn't a giant laser on the moon the whole plot of Austin Powers 2?

"I don't know, I heard that somewhere."

We're doomed.

(This post was motivated by--I kid you not--Halliburton's contracts for drilling on MARS. You know. The big rusted ball. I'm gonna be sick.)

(How far can Bush possibly take the cartoon-world he's put us in? I mean, there must be some things Americans can't believe...)
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