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Sunday, February 01, 2004

(comments on Sonic Heroes with some spoilers. No, not really, but if you want the basic game mechanics to be a surprise, don't select the whited-out text...)

Sonic Heroes. Oh why, oh why do you make me go through an entire stage with key in hand, to play through a one-minute special stage and have a snowball's chance of getting one single Emerald and if I hit one mine at high speed with peculiarly biased controls, I'm hopeless, will lose the stage, and must go back and play the whole freaking 5-10 minute stage all over again, just to get ONE MORE chance of getting the Emerald?

UUUAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!! I cannot even stretch my brain to the point where that might be considered fun. Except Dante, who lets it be known repeatedly that he enjoys pain and frustration when it comes to videogames. Which is why, whenever I complain about not being able to beat the Giant Egg Pants at the end of Level Bruce, he laughs and says, "Oh, that! Why, I beat it when you were still in the womb--"

I finish the conversation with a flourish of the frying pan. End.

(By the way, the Special Stage controlled way better on the Genesis. No joke.)
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