Monday, March 22, 2004

By the way, if you've never read Bellow, do so now. Really. Stop reading my blog. Now. What?! You're still reading?! Cut that out! Okay here's an E-mail she sent me a long time ago:

Ms. McK--

Thank you for calling my blog "really freaking good" in bold letters. I was originally going to write that it made me want to kiss you, but then I remembered that that's not really up your alley. So instead: It made me want to stand you in the middle of a room naked and have hundreds of people write on you with feather quill pens. Each person would only get to write one word on exactly one square inch of your skin. Then they'd lay Leticia The Living Novel down on a paper cutter and dice you into one-inch cubes and Fed-ex you in boxes filled with packing peanuts to Book of the Month Clubs around the country, where people would open you and devour their square-inch Leticia Leaflets with their eyes. After that, they'd shelve you in their homes next to Tolstoy and Sade, and you'd have to wait there, forever, shattered by the ecstasy of always hoping that another person was just...about...to read you.

Please don't tell your mom I wrote that.


My reply:

That... is the best... thing... ever.


(Ten thousand Leticia points plus stock options. At

Now go.
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