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Tuesday, March 09, 2004

well, here's how it happened; I was supposed to take the college class placement test today. But, as it went, I saw my lovely mentor yesterday, and, well...

I can't get her out of my head.

Yeah, this is sad. This sucks. So... I couldn't go to bed (hence my late-night post), and so I couldn't get myself out of bed, and then I did and hurriedly got ready for school, and ended up being several minutes late for the bus. Fuck!

I have no idea what to do.. She's a wonderful woman and I love having her as a mother figure, but at the same time, I know I'm attracted to her and she's attracted to me and becoming any closer would break every rule this social service agency stands upon. (For instance: she's not allowed to "initiate contact" with me. I wonder how literally that's supposed to be interpreted...)

But anyway! Such matters must not cloud my lovely brain. I can resist my attraction to my 34-year-old mentor. I can stand here and fold my arms and refuse to be moved by her scraggly hair or the way she says "hey, sweetie" or her heartbeat when I press myself against her or the way she holds on to me like she'll never let go... (wah!)

So, in response to my last post about my mentor, lovely Carmen (can I still call you that?) sent me another message:

Oh.my.god. you are dating a 34 yo? You and I are so much alike. When I was 16 I dated my first girlfriend/mentor who was a)hot, b)cool as fuck c)hot d)32.

The first time we had sex was in a crappy hotel in rural Wisconsin. I sneaked away from a high school debate team tournament to get freaky. We ate strawberries out of each other’s pussies. It was beautiful and her skin was so smooth. I shit you not. It is now 10 years later. To this day we are best of friends but I’m much more into dick these days.

Damn! You remind me so much of me. I hope that’s a good thing. I mean, I’m kind of a perv, but in a fun kind of way…like you.

Xoxoxo,

“Carmen”

ps

LOVE the pseudonym you gave me!


Carmen, quit rubbing it in. Er, so to speak.

(no, Carmen, don't worry, I still love you...)

Anyway, that's all for now. G'bye!
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