Thursday, April 08, 2004

I can imagine that fighting a guerilla war against foreign invaders would give you a strong sense of identity and camraderie, that even if you die tomorrow you will go to Heaven because you were fighting for the freedom of your country. You don't even need to win a war, you just need to believe you're on the right side. It's disturbing.

So, the more the US attacks Iraq, thte more their national pride is inflamed, and the deeper we dig ourselves into this quagmire. This is not a war we can win. This is Vietnam II. Al the better to get out and let the UN take over; so as long as we're the occupying force, there's nothing we can do to help the Iraqis.

So, if I did go down to Somewhere Where People Are Suffering (and I neglected to say a sizeable chunk of the world is suffering, even without US intervention, because all the world's wealth is being sucked straight to the top), I'm not sure how much good I could really do when I'm just miserably trying to offset the plague of imperialism. I would be the good neuron I have always hoped to be (to use my beloved global brain analogy), but I really would be a rogue trying to push back the tide. It would be better, really, to find where the tide is beginning, and figure out a way to stop it before it starts (why I've always wanted to be in politics).

But whatever, I think that pushing back the tide, sometimes, is where I really belong. My dad did this kind of work, and I wanna be a good Christian daughter just like him! (Well, he wasn't a daughter, but we'll let that slide.) Come on! It's that stupid question of identity again, that as long as I'm doing something good, I can be convinced I'll be fulfilled, even if what I'm doing isn't very effective.

I don't wanna die, but I don't wanna live forever. You know? I really want to do something before I kick it.
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