Thursday, April 15, 2004

I just saw a post on Slashdot entitled, "Men Incapable Of Portraying Videogame Women Fairly?"

I, Leticia Jeanette McKenzie, a woman, with womb and vagina and alla that, am really fucking sick of hearing that men are all crazed perverts. No. We need men. Men have big muscles and cuddle us long into the night. They do cute things like forget all about the laundry but recite the secret super-hero origins of each founding member of the Avengers (to be fair, I do that too. Both). They periodically think that making us happy is the best thing they can possibly do, and the mere sight of our naked bodies will make them melt and quiver like jelly with obedience. They truly believe that we make and breathe the whole universe, that if they please us they are pleasing God.

I'm generalizing, of course, but in a good way. About fucking time men got their props. I think they've been a bit left out from our gender binary as of late. Give 'em some love.

(This is entirely anecdotal evidence, but I find a lot of women--and men--uncomfortable with calling themselves feminists because it implies a hatred of men, and I think that's hooey but it's the popular perception of feminism so what can you do? Besides give a man a kiss today, anyway. They're big and strong and will kill for us. They'll hold up the fort while we do all the real work of birthing a civilization.)

(That's awfully neat. There wouldn't BE a human race if there were no women incubating all the ickle people that populate this earth! Wow... we're the fabric of reality. Men are just our lovable huggable bodyguards.)

(Oooh, if I had a man right now, I'd munch on his shoulder and call him my big naked bodyguard. Then he'd laugh and spray whipped cream on me, right down the curve of my back as so to accentuate my beauty, and I'd be so enthralled that he'd suck me in whole and my spirit will go right up his nose, leaving nothing but a pile of bones in a mini-skirt on the floor that he proceeds to lick on. Mmmm.)

(Where was I? This always happens...)

(And then he feeds my bones to the dog and the dog buries me, never to be seen again, with the faint hope that maybe, maybe somebody will dig me up and eat me before I decompose. Even if it'll be somebody hairy and slobbery. Ewww.)
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