Saturday, April 03, 2004

So I was playing around with an imaginary girl friend, as we took turns making each other into tuna fish and eating each other with mayonnaise. That was fun.

...And today, I remember my big, strong imaginary boyfriend playing around by asking a street vendor (with a portable Muffin Machine ray gun) to turn me into a cupcake. "Hey!" I protested, giggling, before being reduced to a sweet pastry. He kneeled down to pick me off the floor and ate me, savoring my icing, telling me, "You taste good, honey." "Thanks," I said, nervously, as I was devoured by my dream boyfriend.

I think sometimes the female existence (and by saying this I mean no disrespect to feminist activists over the years--we wouldn't be able to wear pants if it weren't for them--this is my perception and mine only) is to be that property, that commodity, the lifeblood of thet whole world. I don't really give a damn that women weren't--for the most part (we won't forget feminist ass-kickers over the years)--the "big players" in history, because we don't really care about starting wars and overthrowing governments and well, the Man's World of peeing contests and drinking beer for its own sake. It's like, while our men are off fighting in war and deciding how they are going to manage the bodies of women they don't know, we've been doing the REAL work of raising children and managing property and playing cards over tea and discussing which boy is the cutest. We've been having fun.

That said, this, my, model of gender dynamics is stereotypical and outmoded, and we're better off without it. Still, it erks me that both parents have to work these days in order for a family to pull their weight; nobody's around to watch the kids, and I'd be perfectly fine if men did this job, but right now, it's nobody.

So, in terms of womanhood as it relates to me being turned into a cupcake and eaten... Womanhood, for me (as opposed to adolescence) is to be able to stand firm and tall in the earth, to become one with the blood and veins of nature, to be able to support the "man's world" above us which isn't really all that fun to begin with. I'd much rather be a housewife who writes novels in her spare time as her act of rebellion, wouldn't you? My model is sexist, certainly, but it's only for me, and it's important for me to have a working definition of womanhood (otherwise, what makes me not a man?), even if it doesn't extend beyond my own body.

And body, oh yes. We have the best bodies. Say it loud and proud! We have the enveloping recharging stations that men around the world can't seem to get enough of. We are mothers and wives and prostitutes, and we're the damn best at what we do: healing wounds and supporting the Earth. Let's get crackin', ladies!


(Anybody who wants to play cards over tea with me while we discuss which boys are cutest are free to FexEx themselves to Poseidontown. I have a little pink plastic chair in the garden set up for you, and a cute little Powerpuff Girls teacup.)

(Ha ha! No, I'm just kidding about all this girly-girly stuff. I do wear sweatpants after all. It's just... I like to take pride in my femininity rather than treat it as a burden, you know?)
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