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Friday, April 23, 2004

Well, hello, Leticia fans! I am still operating off of half a brain. Which means thta Suzy will be updating tonight. Enjoy!

SUZY: Well well well then! This morning, Leticia missed the bus to school--and missed the exam to her chemistry class--because, she was... well, I will give you three guessees, and the first two don't count, unless they end in "asterbation." In which case, you are correct. It wasn't all that hot, either. Well, it was, until she looked at the clock and realized, not only was she late for her bus, but she came out my astral essance on to her tissue, and she had to scoop me back into her vagina and make sure I was secure before leaving. What a hassle!

LETICIA: So I finished Sophie's World. Here's what I have to say about it:

You know, I like my books to have endings. That isn't to say that Sophie's World didn't have a fantastic beginning, or a fantastic middle, but when you have those two it often helps to have a third part to support them. I never bought into the idea that stories should have "open endings" so you can make up an ending for yourself; if I were doing that, I would be the author, not them. I buy a book so that I can read somebody else's writing, and if they decide at the very end that I'm going to have to write the last few pages that should have been there except they don't want to step on anybody's imaginative toes, I'm going to be freakin' pissed and take the book back to the store as defective. "Why?" the clerk will say, and "It had no ending. I demand a refund," I will reply.

That said, in my ending to the book, Sophie would manage to get inside Hilde's head and explore the landscape of her imagination, and could communicate with Hilde in this world. Sophie remained Hilde's best friend and dirty ittle secret for the rest of eternity.

There! But that's not _my_ job to write the ending. Remember that. Nobody writes books with open beginnings or open middles, just like nobody builts a car without an engine or an exhaust pipe so that the purchaser can just "make up their own." It's more satisfying that way, or something.


SUZY: Per Brielle's other suggestion, Leticia is now reading I Capture the Castle, proving that she is a mere sheep to the wishes of people she thinks are cool. She loves the book and wants to have ten thousand of its babies.

Well, good night, everybody! And remember... if giant, glittery dominatrix fairies invade your dreams, make sure they whip you with care so as not to leave a mark. You need to save that beautiful body for when they whip out the chainsaws.
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