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Monday, April 05, 2004

You'll notice I cleaned up the blogroll a tad. No more links to the Guardian, Atrios, or This Modern World, not because I don't think they're excellent resources, but because I want to limit my blogroll to those I have contacted personally, to do my share as a hub in the blogosphere. Those three above have enough links already. (I've also alphebatized the blogroll, to avoid hurting anybody's feelings. Belle is still up top. Odd.)

Secondly, on the way back from England, I picked up a dead-tree edition of the Guardian to read on the plane. I got so bored in-between head-mashings that I began to write some haiku on current events. For instance, we have a brand new ally here in the UN: former rogue state Libya. Now, I'm all for making peace with former terrorist states--something the US could have done with Iraq given a few years' patience and a solution to our itchy trigger finger--but I think we oughta take, you know, baby steps. So I thought it was neat when I read that British firms were lining up for "arms-for-oil" deals. That's great! Since everybody's so hot for oil, I thought it would be a great idea to sell him some to encourage him to give us his conventional weapons. Until I realized... that's arms for oil, THE OTHER WAY.

Rogue state comes around
Let's sell him some guns and bombs
Oil tankers ho!

Libyan Colonel Gadafy has this to say about women, by the way: "A woman is tender. A woman is pretty. A woman weeps easily. A woman is easily frightened."

Our new ally says
Women are weak and weepy
Makes me wanna cry

Meanwhile, the Guardian brought well-known (apparently) prostitute Cynthia Payne to discuss whether or not Belle de Jour is the real deal. She said that Belle is obviously fake because her clients are impolite and want weird things. But the real gem of her article is when she accuses Belle of sounding too much like an author--as in, a good writer, one who knows (in her words) "sod-all" about it. Pardon me, Ms. Payne, but what does "sod-all" mean? Do you know anyone who talks like that? An AUTHOR, that's who! Give it up, Cynthia! We know where you live! You're mashed inbetween pages of the Guardian, east, west, south and north somewhat!

Belle's sexy stories
Have better writing than mine
Right-o! A fraud!

Her johns talk dirty
My clients were daft and dull
Poor me. Tear her down!

My argument:

Belle's bizarre clients
If she could have made them up
She'd work in TV

(By the way, Belle does not speak for all prostitutes, so... don't try to say that no prostitute talks like her. They come in all shapes and sizes, missy.)

And finally, Richard Clarke blew the fact that everyone knew, Bush is a liar and a cheat and a moron.

Disgruntled chief blows
Dear Leader's incompetence
Lo, open secrets!

That's all for now! Stay tuned next time for another thrilling recipe as Suzy shows you how to make fried Leticia apple crisp with whipped cream and cinnamon. Mmm-mm!
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