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Friday, May 28, 2004

"It’s been raining a lot and the topsoil is loose."

Y’see, Bush fell off his bike while riding around by his ranch in Texas, and now, lo and behold, he STILL has government apologists denying he did anything wrong. "You know this president. He likes to go all-out. Suffice it to say he wasn't whistling show tunes," said White House spokesman Trent Duffy. (That’s right! Commander-in-chief! Awwr wrraawwwrr!...)

Now, everybody falls off their bike once in a while. It’s part of the game. I just find it amusing how, for absolutely every occasion, Bush is sure to "prove" that he never, ever did anything wrong. Ever.

(It also needs to be said that "it’s been raining a lot" is the most ridiculous lie the Bushmen ever told. Why would you lie about the weather? Take it like a man!)

Next up:

BUSH FORGETS TO PICK UP LAUNDRY: "Someone left the radio on loud and it was his favorite song."

BUSH FORGETS TO TURN IN HOMEWORK: "The dog was very hungry and the homework was bacon-flavored."

BUSH DOESN’T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT THERE $1 TRILLION: "Well, anybody could lose a trillion dollars! It’s not like the President of the United States should keep a lid on these deficit things or nothin’..."

BUSH FORGETS TO ACCOMPLISH MISSION: "Um, help?"
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