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Sunday, May 23, 2004

Sorry, folks, yesterday I rediscovered MegaZeux and played with it for nearly the whole day. It's a game design engine that you can do almost anything with... so I made about the first five minutes of what _I_ think is the bestest RPG ever. Too bad it's only five minutes long and so far has no battles. But! I'm working on it. Expect Leticia's Great Big MegaZeux Adventure to take the IGDA awards by storm.

So yeah... I've been lonely this weekend. I hate weekends, they give me too much time to think and to do dumb stuff like play around with MegaZeux all day. Yearning to buy a new game... probably should do some homework instead...

I think too much. I may have told you about this problem, but I do. But today, this weekend, it's like a constant buzzing that I can't get out of my head. It's an extra layer that prevents my brain from doing anything. I expected to get on the computer and write on my blog and expect a latent flood of emotion to come pouring out upon this text box... but no such torrent has come, and so I am going to go and clean my room.

But! Time for a Masturbation Update, just to pay honor to my stock-in-trade. Last night it was VERY pleasant when I was a tall, plump woman with auburn hair in my mid-twenties, baking a cake for my dear husband. Of course, happy fairies came to play in my kitchen and help me cook and tell me how to improve my cake, before one of them gave me a big, magical shove and sent me swirling into the center of my cake batter (...), my eyeballs being the last thing assimilated into the mixture. As it happened, my dearest husband swaggered into the room, pleased to see his wife as a cake for him. He was (wait for it)... Jayne, from Firefly, the aggressive muscle-man guy that gets on everybody's nerves.

The next time I masturbated, I was a popular videogame character who shall remain nameless for her image concerns (but yes, she is human). The nameless, faceless tech employees hustled me naked into a room and took pictures of me for reference, and then laid me face down on a table and whacked at me constantly with a meat tenderizing mallet. I took it with pretty good humor; at least I was getting attention. My body sufficiently bruised and tender, they picked me up and threw me in the Fruit Snack Machine so that I would become tiny and sugary and marketable. The last thing I remember was my big, evil CEO without a face who opened up my bag and admired by tiny, innocent beauty before throwing me in his mouth and chewing on me to savor... every... moment of my rapidly dissolving body.

I hope you enjoyed that. It takes a lot of strength (or stupidity) to write these, so enjoy them while you can.
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