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Monday, May 24, 2004

Tips for dealing with shy people:

#1. We cannot spit it out. No matter how much you want us to, we cannot speak out of the blue. Prompt us, or make us feel comfortable. Empower us, because we cannot do it ourselves, or else we wouldn’t be shy.

#2. We are survivors. No man, or woman, is an island, but if you have trouble communicating with people you’re not going to make it very far in life. Any shy person who hasn’t killed themselves is doing pretty good. Honor that in your mind (but not outwardly, which brings me to)

#3. Do not romanticize shyness. Oh, it’s terrible not being able to ask somebody to pass the ketchup. No matter how adorable you think it is, it’s a pain in the ass to giggle uncontrollably when you’re trying to get a point across. Not fun.

#4. That said, let us go at our own pace. Invite us to come out of our shells, to speak freely and openly, and to forget about the little voice that constantly tells us that we’re freaks and nobody likes us. However, do not force us into anything, that will only hurt our chances of coming out. Take it slow, and remember (this really gets me hot): “You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

#5. We like things. Much as you think there might just be an echo chamber between our ears, there are actually neurons flowing in them thar craniums. Ask us about what goes on in there, even if its just a dumb question like “what music do you like?” because it’s wonderful (for me, anyway) to turn that inner conversation outward and not to have to listen to That Stupid Voice for about five minutes.

#6. Invite us to stuff. Yeah, we act all creepy when we shuffle around and mumble, but there are real people behind that fake shyness act. We are lots of fun when we come out of our shells, trust me.

Finally, #7. Do not judge us. Anyone could be beneath that shell. What it takes is empowerment to go beyond our fear of talking, to anybody, ever. If we do awaken so, do not be afraid of what or who we become, because it was (hopefully) who we were all along.

Comments:
Just Amazing!
Hello, Letícia! I'm Diego, I'm 22 and I live in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil.
I was talking, or trying to talk to a girl who seems to be shy. It's rare to see her talking freely about anything. I was having difficulty for she makes it a little bit hard for a good conversation to be estabilished. I confess I didn't really know what to say for I was afraid she wouldn't like any subject I could aproach.
The solution, at least a terrific 1st, step came after I wrote "dealing with shy people" on that blank space at www.google.com which showed your page right away.
I read the post you wrote and I think it's great! Therefore, I say: congratulations and thanks for being helpful.
 
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