<$BlogRSDUrl$>

Tuesday, June 22, 2004

Good God I am turned on today. The mere sight of a vegetable sub would make me imagine being pressed between the halves of bread, laying comfortably in my garden of lettuce and smearing myself with mayonnaise before being eaten by the one guy in my history class who looks exactly like Jayne from Firefly. Oooh! Oooh! And in the middle of math class, I couldn’t help but imagine myself pressed against the whiteboard, reduced to marker outlines and messy symbols as the mathematical reduction of who Leticia McKenzie is. That could make me come by itself.

But you see, to deal with my addiction, I told myself not to masturbate until next Thursday. This is widening the rift between myself and myself. Suddenly, the two of us aren’t able to get our alone time. I feel isolated from myself. Listen, myself... when I said all those bad words, like you’re a dork and a loser, I didn’t mean it! All I want is to lie with you in a meditative trance where we imagine being sucked into a giant metal tube and turned into Cute Girl-flavored Jello! Really! And all those times I said it wasn’t worth it for the two of us to go outside... it’s because I just couldn’t deal with the thought of you... with... somebody... else...

So I guess you could say I’m in a very controlling relationship with myself. This is not very good. Maybe me and I need some time apart. Perhaps I shall do my math homework, although given my algebra fetish I cannot promise I will sneak off into the closet with my math book and imagine being pressed into pure numerical equations. (It can’t get any worse then when I very nearly came in the middle of the night to the thought of me being listed as an element on the periodic table. Nerdy girls unite! Someday we’ll all find nice, nerdy boys to satisfy our fantasies of being guinea pigs in bizarre genetic experiments! Or at least, they’ll place electrodes all over our naked bodies and then push a button that converts us into raw data to be used in their video game, but then they forget about us and accidentally delete us and decide it would be better after all just to have a great big orgy in the computer lab. Um, this is Leticia McKenzie, and I would like my imagination back...)

Or, perhaps, as a way to get away from myself, I will play more Viewtiful Joe. However, Joe is so visually noisy that it actually gives me a headache, so it’s out of the question. You know what? I would like to take up gardening. Too bad the backyard is full of dog shit, which—as everybody who knows me knows—I am extremely, primally afraid of and cannot go anywhere near. ‘Tis a shame, because I’d love to learn to plant my happy garden and whistle and watch the birds go by and wave to the charming paperboy who misses and hits me with his paper, sending me into my garden and burying me alive. Thankfully, I am reborn in the spring as Leticius McKendactyde. God bless!

But then somebody decides to pluck me and press me into a book and I am stuck there, forever, with a thousand other girls like me with my eccentric personality but we can never talk to each other because we were turned into flowers and are tragically seperated by a thin piece of paper, never to be penetrated...

Then he decides to grind us into his latest drug in order to perform bizarre genetic experiments on his girlfriend but that is another story. All I can say is that she will have blue scales. And wings. And a little ribbon of bare flesh running down the center of her body. And a nice ass. Goodbye!

Leticia

(If you are the boy from my history class who looks like Jayne from Firefly, meet me in the main area at 3:00 tomorrow so that we can go to my house and you can perform bizarre genetic experiments on me. If you can turn me into a can of tuna fish, that would be great. You'll recognize me as the girl who has to circle around the college three times just to find the damn main area.)

(Bring mayonnaise.)
Comments:
Nice job on your blog! I am book marking your site for future reference.

I have recently created a gardening tip
site/blog. It pretty much covers gardening tip related stuff.

Stop by and check it out if you have time.
 
I just came across a great gardening website called AtlGardening.com*. Not only does it feature articles for the gardening enthusiast, but has become a great garden catalog
resource for me in my landscaping effort. The webmaster of this site has recently added a book section that seemed to expand everytime I go there.
What I like about it is that I get instant access to the book and don't have to wait for the book(s) to arrive which of course saves me money.....no shipping charges.... in some cases. Great idea. I love it. You must check it out today. Let me know what you think.
 
Hi, I'm just a retiree from Ohio cruising around the net and looking for interesting
blogs. Came across your blog and thought I 'd say hello. Great job.

Regards,
Denni


gardening forum
 
Hi there, I was surfing the internet and I found your blog. I like the way how this all works.

I'll come by again.

Many thanks,

how to birdwatching
 
Hi ##name##, I've been working on the backyard a few years. We finally added a pond and a waterfall but I am certainly opengarden landscaping to some tips on how to make our backyard look great for this spring and summer.
 
Pest control in the perennial garden
http://home-gardening.blogspot.com/
If you have any good tips please post trhem on my blog

One of the many advantages of growing perennials is the ability of these beautiful flowers to return to full bloom season after season. While this ability to bloom repeatedly is one of the things that makes perennials so special, it also introduces a number of important factors into your gardening plan. One of the most important of these is a proper pest control regimen.

While a garden full of annuals starts each season as a blank slate, the perennial garden is essentially a work in progress. The fact that the plants stay in the ground through winter makes things like proper pruning, disease management and pest control very important. If the garden bed is not prepared properly after the current growing season, chances are the quality of the blooms will suffer when the next season rolls around.

One of the most important factors to a successful perennial pest control regimen is the attention and vigilance of the gardener. As the gardener, you are in the best position to notice any changes in the garden, such as spots on the leaves, holes in the leaves, or damage to the stems. Any one of these could indicate a problem such as pest infestation or a disease outbreak.

It is important to nip any such problem in the bud, since a disease outbreak or pest infestation can easily spread to take over an entire garden. Fortunately for the gardener, there are a number of effective methods for controlling both common pests and frequently seen plant diseases.

Some of these methods are chemical in nature, such as insecticides and fungicides, while others are more natural, like using beneficial insects to control harmful ones. While both approaches have their advantages and disadvantages, many gardeners prefer to try the natural approach first, both for the health of the garden and the environment.

There is an additional benefit of the natural approach that many gardeners are unaware of. These days, it is very popular to combine a koi pond with a garden, for a soothing, relaxing environment. If you do plan to incorporate some type of fish pond into your garden landscape, it is critical to avoid using any type of insecticide or fungicide near the pond, since it could seep into the water and poison the fish. Fish are extremely sensitive to chemicals in the environment, especially with a closed environment like a pond.

As with any health issue, for people or plants, prevention is the best strategy to disease control and pest control alike. The best defense for the gardener is to grow a garden full of the healthiest, most vigorous plants possible. Whenever possible, varieties of plants bred to be disease or pest resistant should be used. There are a number of perennials that, through selective breeding, are quite resistant to the most common plant diseases, so it is a good idea to seek them out.

Happy gardening,
Stan
http://yourebooksuperstore.com/vegetable/
 
Pest control in the perennial garden
http://home-gardening.blogspot.com/
If you have any good tips please post trhem on my blog

One of the many advantages of growing perennials is the ability of these beautiful flowers to return to full bloom season after season. While this ability to bloom repeatedly is one of the things that makes perennials so special, it also introduces a number of important factors into your gardening plan. One of the most important of these is a proper pest control regimen.

While a garden full of annuals starts each season as a blank slate, the perennial garden is essentially a work in progress. The fact that the plants stay in the ground through winter makes things like proper pruning, disease management and pest control very important. If the garden bed is not prepared properly after the current growing season, chances are the quality of the blooms will suffer when the next season rolls around.

One of the most important factors to a successful perennial pest control regimen is the attention and vigilance of the gardener. As the gardener, you are in the best position to notice any changes in the garden, such as spots on the leaves, holes in the leaves, or damage to the stems. Any one of these could indicate a problem such as pest infestation or a disease outbreak.

It is important to nip any such problem in the bud, since a disease outbreak or pest infestation can easily spread to take over an entire garden. Fortunately for the gardener, there are a number of effective methods for controlling both common pests and frequently seen plant diseases.

Some of these methods are chemical in nature, such as insecticides and fungicides, while others are more natural, like using beneficial insects to control harmful ones. While both approaches have their advantages and disadvantages, many gardeners prefer to try the natural approach first, both for the health of the garden and the environment.

There is an additional benefit of the natural approach that many gardeners are unaware of. These days, it is very popular to combine a koi pond with a garden, for a soothing, relaxing environment. If you do plan to incorporate some type of fish pond into your garden landscape, it is critical to avoid using any type of insecticide or fungicide near the pond, since it could seep into the water and poison the fish. Fish are extremely sensitive to chemicals in the environment, especially with a closed environment like a pond.

As with any health issue, for people or plants, prevention is the best strategy to disease control and pest control alike. The best defense for the gardener is to grow a garden full of the healthiest, most vigorous plants possible. Whenever possible, varieties of plants bred to be disease or pest resistant should be used. There are a number of perennials that, through selective breeding, are quite resistant to the most common plant diseases, so it is a good idea to seek them out.

Happy gardening,
Stan
http://yourebooksuperstore.com/vegetable/
 
Pest control in the perennial garden
http://home-gardening.blogspot.com/
If you have any good tips please post trhem on my blog

One of the many advantages of growing perennials is the ability of these beautiful flowers to return to full bloom season after season. While this ability to bloom repeatedly is one of the things that makes perennials so special, it also introduces a number of important factors into your gardening plan. One of the most important of these is a proper pest control regimen.

While a garden full of annuals starts each season as a blank slate, the perennial garden is essentially a work in progress. The fact that the plants stay in the ground through winter makes things like proper pruning, disease management and pest control very important. If the garden bed is not prepared properly after the current growing season, chances are the quality of the blooms will suffer when the next season rolls around.

One of the most important factors to a successful perennial pest control regimen is the attention and vigilance of the gardener. As the gardener, you are in the best position to notice any changes in the garden, such as spots on the leaves, holes in the leaves, or damage to the stems. Any one of these could indicate a problem such as pest infestation or a disease outbreak.

It is important to nip any such problem in the bud, since a disease outbreak or pest infestation can easily spread to take over an entire garden. Fortunately for the gardener, there are a number of effective methods for controlling both common pests and frequently seen plant diseases.

Some of these methods are chemical in nature, such as insecticides and fungicides, while others are more natural, like using beneficial insects to control harmful ones. While both approaches have their advantages and disadvantages, many gardeners prefer to try the natural approach first, both for the health of the garden and the environment.

There is an additional benefit of the natural approach that many gardeners are unaware of. These days, it is very popular to combine a koi pond with a garden, for a soothing, relaxing environment. If you do plan to incorporate some type of fish pond into your garden landscape, it is critical to avoid using any type of insecticide or fungicide near the pond, since it could seep into the water and poison the fish. Fish are extremely sensitive to chemicals in the environment, especially with a closed environment like a pond.

As with any health issue, for people or plants, prevention is the best strategy to disease control and pest control alike. The best defense for the gardener is to grow a garden full of the healthiest, most vigorous plants possible. Whenever possible, varieties of plants bred to be disease or pest resistant should be used. There are a number of perennials that, through selective breeding, are quite resistant to the most common plant diseases, so it is a good idea to seek them out.

Happy gardening,
Stan
http://yourebooksuperstore.com/vegetable/
 
Pest control in the perennial garden
http://home-gardening.blogspot.com/
If you have any good tips please post trhem on my blog

One of the many advantages of growing perennials is the ability of these beautiful flowers to return to full bloom season after season. While this ability to bloom repeatedly is one of the things that makes perennials so special, it also introduces a number of important factors into your gardening plan. One of the most important of these is a proper pest control regimen.

While a garden full of annuals starts each season as a blank slate, the perennial garden is essentially a work in progress. The fact that the plants stay in the ground through winter makes things like proper pruning, disease management and pest control very important. If the garden bed is not prepared properly after the current growing season, chances are the quality of the blooms will suffer when the next season rolls around.

One of the most important factors to a successful perennial pest control regimen is the attention and vigilance of the gardener. As the gardener, you are in the best position to notice any changes in the garden, such as spots on the leaves, holes in the leaves, or damage to the stems. Any one of these could indicate a problem such as pest infestation or a disease outbreak.

It is important to nip any such problem in the bud, since a disease outbreak or pest infestation can easily spread to take over an entire garden. Fortunately for the gardener, there are a number of effective methods for controlling both common pests and frequently seen plant diseases.

Some of these methods are chemical in nature, such as insecticides and fungicides, while others are more natural, like using beneficial insects to control harmful ones. While both approaches have their advantages and disadvantages, many gardeners prefer to try the natural approach first, both for the health of the garden and the environment.

There is an additional benefit of the natural approach that many gardeners are unaware of. These days, it is very popular to combine a koi pond with a garden, for a soothing, relaxing environment. If you do plan to incorporate some type of fish pond into your garden landscape, it is critical to avoid using any type of insecticide or fungicide near the pond, since it could seep into the water and poison the fish. Fish are extremely sensitive to chemicals in the environment, especially with a closed environment like a pond.

As with any health issue, for people or plants, prevention is the best strategy to disease control and pest control alike. The best defense for the gardener is to grow a garden full of the healthiest, most vigorous plants possible. Whenever possible, varieties of plants bred to be disease or pest resistant should be used. There are a number of perennials that, through selective breeding, are quite resistant to the most common plant diseases, so it is a good idea to seek them out.

Happy gardening,
Stan
http://yourebooksuperstore.com/vegetable/
 
Post a Comment

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?