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Thursday, June 10, 2004

The thing about being appreciated is that you never know how to respond to it, because every girl in the world wants to be appreciated but you never want to make an emotional investment.

Take this boy, a dear friend of mine, who wants to turn me into a cookie (enormous apologies to this person, who is currently reading this); I love him and, deep down inside, really really want him to turn me into a cookie and eat me with hot chocolate and marshmallows. At the same time, I am a very good girl and need to keep all approaching boys at arm's length at safety reasons.

Yet, I couldn't just say "don't say that," because that would be dishonest, and I couldn't say "oooh yeah baby" because that would be plunging helter-skelter into the terrifying Man Nebula and I don't know what I would do, and I can't take anywhere in thte middle because that makes me look like a waffle AND it establishes probably the deepest relationship of all, the one where we look at each other nervously at the bus stop and cough.

So I hope this works out well. I really really want a boy to cuddle me and whisper into my ear, "and you'll have blue frosting and chocolate chips..." but not... right... now. Give me some time, world. Once I've established a foothold in the World of Women, I can begin my expansion into the scary, yet lovable World of Men. And don't worry, SOMEDAY I'll meet a very nice man (possibly I've already met him) who I feel safe enough around that he can swallow me whole. Ooh yeah.

First I'll establish a base inside of (name withheld,) and then move into prime territories of the (names withheld) regions, before commencing my grand melee inside of--

Wait a second, didn't a really sexy woman kiss me yesterday?

FUCK! And I thought I had everything figured out. Back to the drawing board...
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