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Tuesday, July 27, 2004

Oog. Stomach cramps.

I'm sure there are many well-meaning guys out there who want to know what it's like to feel these, so: stab yourself in the stomach with a coat hanger and then turn it counterclockwise, all the way around, and then yank it out along with one of your internal organs for bonus points. Continue until all organs are gone by process of musical chairs.

Come to think of it, if that would work, perhaps I can reverse my stomach cramps by stabbing myself with a coat hanger and turning it CLOCKWISE. ...And try not to lose any internal organs. ...And try to avoid bleeding out of two places for the rest of the day.

Sometimes, my brilliant ideas are just ahead of their time...

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