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Saturday, July 24, 2004

Today I asked Sephy out on a date. Of course he said no, but he was nice about it and made me feel loved. I'd ask boys on dates more often if they were all so nice. (Actually, I hang out with a lot of nice boys, and I realized there was another nice boy that I might want to take a shot at but I thought one asking-out per evening was enough.) But that's not why I'm posting (or, as they say, going postal), it is because of another touching story at the community center.

I knew a boy.. we'll call him Bruce. I hadn't seen him in a long time. He seemed really nice to me, always enthusiastic, saying "wwraaawwr!" as he hugged me to indicate my sexiness. So, when I heard bad things about him--nothing in particular, just that he was a jerk that you should stay away from--I tried not to listen, because I always want to give people a second chance.

(Leticia Broadcasting Service announcement: You should always give somebody a second chance, but not if it puts you in danger. If you hear that somebody is dangerous, you would do well to believe them and not get too close, even if later you find out it was all hooey and a rumor. Better safe than sorry.)

That's all I saw of him for two years, until he comes back with his face looking exhausted from what looked like drug abuse; like his face had taken too much from the inside, and that it was about to fall off and explode. His eyes drooped and he hunched over. He looked like he escaped a train wreck. But somehow... I trusted him that he had got better from whatever had happened. When I saw him before, he was energetic, fresh-faced and, if you are to believe the rumors, an asshole. Now he was humble... pitifully humble, but not the kind of pity where you get angry at somebody for making you feel the pity. Real pity, just like true love, or a lifetime warranty.

He grabs my shoulder and says, "Leticia, right? I haven't seen you in so long..." He hugs me and doesn't want to let go. "Listen, Leticia... I did some bad things... and I've changed, and now I'm back." I didn't know what to say. I know it sounds like he was making excuses to drag me into his bed and fuck me until I was exiled to another slice of the fourth dimension, but he wasn't. He... good God...

"Leticia," he said, as I put my coat on at the end of the evening, "if you see me doing bad things... tell me." I didn't know what to say. I didn't see him do any bad things... but his face and his demeanor told me that he had been doing bad things ever since I knew him for the first time, and now he's finally aware of the consequences. I wanted to tell him that I'd tell him, but... what do you say? "And... be safe. You're so lovely. I want you to be safe." That I could respond to. "I will," I said, with a smile. "Count on it."

Kiss me.

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