Sunday, August 01, 2004

Comments ho! I got bored and added Blogger's new comments. What fun!

Now, all you people who think I am dead wrong and I ought to be masturbating instead to Master Chief wearing pink armor being eaten by a giant Venus fly trap (??? I do not know where that came from) can hereby voice their opinions on this here LeticiaNet, the Global Brain known as people bitching about various comments (or, as a certain MSNBC reporter likes to call it, "a riff on whatever you were riffing on)." So! All y'alls, be sure to leave your comments at the door. Mistress Leticia's into that kind of thing.

I'm... hyperactive. I did four hours of math work yesterday. You know why? Here's how it goes...

One day in math class at Poseidontown High, our teacher, henceforth to be known as Professor X, noticed that I was out of it. As you have doubtlessly guessed, this was one year ago and I was thinking about Dante. Dante... do I really want to have sex with him? Of COURSE this was my first question, beyond the question of whether or not I even wanted emotional intimacy. Beat it, yo.

Anyway, Prof. X noticed that I was more intent on solving the great mysteries that lie beyond Dante's zipper than (y+2)^2=49... so he stopped me after class and told me...

Professor X: Listen, Leticia, you seem out of it today. You haven't done one problem.
Leticia: I have too done one goatee! ..I mean arm hair! ...I mean problem!
Professor X: Let me give you another pearl of wisdom from my childhood in Humble Beginnings Land. You see, when you focus on just one point, everything else in the universe seems to slip away. It all recedes into the back of your mind and you can focus on your one point. Now, here's what's really special...
Leticia: ...
Professor X: Leticia?
Leticia: ...
Professor X: LETICIA!
Leticia: Oh no! Not the phone ringing! I mean... what?
Professor X: (sigh) What I'm trying to say is that if you focus on your math homework, your brain will figure out what to do with the rest of your problems on its own. Just focus on math for a bit. I call it... Math Meditation.
Leticia: Math Meditation.
Professor X: Very good. Now get that assignment done or you're getting a D!
Leticia: (gulp) Yes sir!

And so, I learned the magical process known as math meditation through this highly dramatized but essentially accurate dialogue, and Leticia was never the same. And by the way, y equals five; and because I figured that out, I am thirty seconds closer to having Dante. I mean somebody else! Don't scare me like that, subconscious. Seriously.


(Gandhi said that his only problem with modern machinery was that it was taking the means of production out of the hands of the many and putting it into the hands of the few. This is why he advocated everyone on Earth owning a spinning wheel; the spinning wheel became a symbol of revolution in India. To sit at the spinning wheel and concentrate on making clothes for your family, while letting the rest of your mind wander elsewhere, was itself an act of revolution. When the author Lewis Fischer learned of this in an interview with Gandhi, he asked if interupting his spinning for an interview has delayed India's independence from Britain. Gandhi laughed and said "yes, you have delayed independence by six yards.")
Y also = -9.
And wow, I'm the first to post!
I feel so priviledged...
That'll mean I'm second then. Do we get a badge or something? And do we get extra points for calling you sweetie, sweetie? :)
Hey, so glad I can finally express my love for this page. Your blog is fantastic!
Dear Leticia,
You are awesome.
Well, I'm too humble to concur that I'm awesome, but I'm too awesome to concur that I'm humble, which means I, oh, I forgot. (twists arms around) But! Fran is correct, goddamn variables and their possibly-negative-ness. In _my_ math meditation world, all squared variables are positive. Ooh! Try this problem:

(x-2)/(x-9) = 7/(x-9)

See y'alls later, my stack of comic books is calling...
I remember some maths. Please allow me to be smug and publish my answer.

(x-2)/(x-9)=7/(x-9) That was the problem right?
(x-2)(x-9)=7(x-9) multiply out
x2-11x+18=7x-63 subtract 7x add 63 giving
by factorising
therefore x=9

I feel clever now. Hope that wasn't your homework.
(x-2)/(x-9) = 7/(x-9)
multiply both sides by (x-9)
x-2 = 7
x = 9

That way the big numbers never come up. Although I guess it's more fun to do it the hard way.
Let's see... if x is nine, then...

(x-2)/(x-9) = 7/(x-9)
(7-2)/(9-9) = 7/(9-9)
5/0 = 7/0

And we have... division by zero! (And this comment dissappears in a swirling vortex of logic.)

Get it? It was a trick question! There's NO ANSWER! Bwahahahahahaha!!--(trips backward and falls into a pool of water)--oogh.
Hehe you got me... :)
Hmm.. you all seem very into math (or not), anyway i got a problem for you: 7x² - 42x + 63 / 7x² -63=
The goal is to simplify the problem, not solve it. I got the answer but I just can't figure out how to get there...dammit.
Btw, i like the way you think Leticia :)

Almost forgot: the answer is (x-3)/(x+3).

Be well.
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