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Sunday, October 31, 2004

By the way, I am now taking submissions on Le Grande Plan (le NEW grande plan, since Kathryn's didn't work out so well) on How I Can Have HIV Testing Man All To Myself, Short of Turning Him Into a Batch of Chocolate Chip Cookies and Eating Him, Slowly, and then Licking My Fingers and Oohing. So think of your BEST plan. How might you woo the HIV Testing Man? What will lure him into a fancy restaurant faster than you can say "whipped cream?" Does Leticia look better in the blue dress, or the green dress? Fire away!
Comments:
Blue dress.
Just go in and ask him.

If it doesn't work, well... That's just a risk you have to take.

Honesty works best.
 
I kinda like the cookie idea... if all men were cookies.. oh yeah :P

Anywho.. blue or green? maybe you should go naked and go "take HIV testing man TAKE ME!"

it could work you know :P
 
Leticia, if this plan works, then i want to be informed. Try to tell me before i die... and make sure I know. Ok? Here's the plan. Blue dress, I would suggest. Loctose tolerant cookies... good milk or no milk if possible, brown sugar, as much made from scratch... MAKE THEM IN THE GREEN DRESS (wear the blue dress to deliver them)... put it in his sexual doggie bag. what you will give him if things don't seem to go according to dream state. THEN.... wear your GREEN DRESS.. doesn't matter when and where and how you do this. This plan SHOULD not attract attention, can be done in a testing interview, or to ask a testing related question. here's what you ask him. (the little doggie bag... for his sexual gift, looks like it belongs to you. don't package the gift emotionally. make it look like your lunch bag--you can think about a note for inside). NEXT.. the question(s) -- you decide how to tailor them in what and which to ask: Excuse me, I have a serious question. I'm thinking about donating blood, but they keep telling me my blood pressure is too low and i was wondering if I can donate blood here. "WHAY?!" and you say, i don't seem to be having any problems with my blood pressure right now! (look him dead in the eyes). if he's confused.. then say, "at the bank, man... like i just feel so calm. they said i could faint after big time.. but i'm POSITIVE i won't faint here. looking at you makes me pump blood like a _________"... or say whatever and how much you need to in ahwatever manner.

or flip it around. ask him if he's ever had problems donating blood. ask him that you heard if you are somebody who doesn't drink coffee, smoke cigs, has a really low blood pressure, doesn't eat meat, and all this stuff... that your blood pressure is so calm, and so evenly paced, that you could faint after giving that much blood....

let's put it this way... my sister wanted to donate blood for my grandmother one time. and this is my SUPER CHAOTIC crazy photographer sister. SUPER MOM. SUPER FRIEND. SUPER PHOTO. COOL BEYOND BELIEF. lots of everything in her system.. coffee, meats, the works. and then she visited this doctor you tells you how you've thought about your inner planet your life and what foods you must avoid and what you are composit of, (in nicely drawn own biological and natural and all these terms.. like: you, too much fire! Need more water! No Meat! No Bread! More green! Less Spicy! No HOT Tea. little tea. no tea. FRESH.. insider nice cool SHOWER! so she adjusted. cut out alcohol, squares, cut down on la la land and any jazz to her mind. basically.. stone cold. and "she couldn't get it up" to give blood. I'd never seen my sister more beautiful, more passionate, more honest with me, more trustfull of me, more desirable, in my entire life. VERY SIMPLE. this is the sister that says it and means it that she sometimes wishes she could tie me up against a wall and whip me with chains!

So? My plan?! I dunno girl. But, I'm sure you will create a pulse in that man that is unbelievable. And as long as you personally don't feel rejected. WHATEVER his reaction is... seriously... feel whole heartedly accepted by the 1 million people that watched you attempt to carry out any plan.

i still think that anonymous idea of showing him your blog is pretty cool though, and make sure he's a reader (or not) and promise him that if he were to get it on with you, you'd lie about it online! that's also probably the sexiest thing alive "i'll lie for you if you lie for me!" (ok... LIE DOWN, lemme get the grinder out)
 
if you want to think about him in both dresses, cook 'em in green, deliver in blue... and if the green dress smells more of you than the cookies you baked, then deliver them in the green dress, and if they smell more of cookies, wear a blue dress... remember, deliver them pretty hot.. fresh and warm! make sure your timing is under an hour for deliver, and execution of any said questions and stuff. wonder about fancy dining in order to eat some good food to raise your blood pressure.. and then over dinner talk about the only thing that really manges to raise your blood pressure. you know... like, seriously.. make sure this man helps you have the most secure impression of you possible. i'll lie for you you lie for me... we're all dead in the end anyway. i would never
 
Just tell him - you'd be surprised how us men like to be told we're attractive. Worse case scenario he doesn't like you, but you'll make him feel like a million dollars and bring a smile to his face.

And the best case scenario? Well I'll leave that to your imagination...................
 
http://dasspunken.blogspot.com/
 
Women v. Men @ Sex;)
 
Your blog is excellent - keep it up! Don't miss visiting this site about mcdonalds restaurant. It pretty much covers mcdonalds restaurant related stuff.
 
Hi, I like your blog. I have a site on Blood Pressure Monitors maybe we could trade links?
 
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