Friday, October 29, 2004

Ha! Ha! So you've gotta hear this story.

So my mentor gives me cookies that she got for me. I really love my mentor, so I really want to eat them once I get home. My mom reaches in, STEALS ONE OF THE ONLY TWO CHOCOLATE CHIP ONES, and eats it, without asking. (Well, she DID ask, but she also didn't wait for a response.)

So I get really mad. I mean furious. Problem is, I can't bottle it all up because then I'll have to explain to my mom why I trashed the house over a cookie. And I can't really explain why just one cookie made me so angry, beyond the simple smugness that came from stealing a cookie that my loveliest mentor gave me. I had about a thousand sugar cookies, ginger cookies, etc. in my bag but NOOOO, she has to take a CHOCOLATE CHIP one.

After she raises her voice and makes it very clear that she had the right to take it from me because it was rude of ME not to give one to her in the first place (you know, if you had waited three seconds...), and that I'm not going to win this conversation (yes, don't get into a power struggle with your mom) I walk away, in bitter defeat, and whine to my diary.

And then, I get an idea...

So I take my bag of cookies and tell her, you know, I can't eat all these by myself. I want you to have one. But first, what do you say?

Now she begins to lose it. She pinches her eyeballs together and paces around, saying she wants a cookie but won't do it under my insidious, role-playing circumstances, saying it would be better if I would just say, "gee, Mom, would you like a cookie?"

Right ahead of her, I tell her, "gee, Mom, would you like a cookie?" and she is tongue-tied. "Given the circumstances," she responds, "I wouldn't care if you--" she resists the temptation to say something vulgar, "--flushed them down the toilet."

So I take the cookie away. "Well, no, I just thought you might want one. Now, what do we say."

She sighs. "May I have a cookie?"

"Yes, you may," I tell her, handing her a sugar cookie.

She looks at it. "...Why have I lost my appetite?"

I grin. "Because I just got the best of you?"

She laughs and buries her face in a magazine, embarrassed to admit the truth.

I win!

And that's how Leticia got the best of her mom. Ha! Ha!

(Yes, you may regard it as a character flaw that I have a stake in "winning" these situations... but you never know, maybe I could be President some day!)

(Except, Bush is just no good at social engineering. I'm a pro! Hey, if you're ever looking for somebody to replace Karl Rove...)
Well done :)

But you're still missing a chocolate chip cookie.

But future victories are yours!
>"without asking. (Well, she DID ask, but she also didn't wait for a response.)"argh! i HATE it when people do that passive-aggressive selfish thing. it's very common here in england. "oh, thanks!" as they grab something of someone else's.
Can I have a cookie please?
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